You know... whatever

And she knows how to Chomp. Just ask her. (Are there any kids of Gator fans that aren't required to learn this?)

2008-08-30T21:30:00.018-04:00

The first gator game. Major milestone for two parents who both graduated from the University of Florida. Sniff sniff.

I think Donald was more excited than I was. It was his idea after all. He was able to get Touchdown Terrace tickets from his office which meant that if it was raining, it wouldn't bother us. And if it got too hot, we could just go inside. And there was food. And more room. And how did it go?

Perfect.

Well, as perfect as anything can be with a toddler. We started out at 7:30am and gave Keeley breakfast in the car. I had packed a zillion small purses with various silly toys and books to pass back to her to keep her entertained. As you can see, each purse was filled with expensive, educational toys.

She was okay on the ride up. I got a little tired of turning around and seeing what she wanted. Yes, I know I didn't have to turn around, but that whining really, REALLY gets to me. It. Just. Has. To. Stop. I think I actually said, "If you say 'this' one more time, Keeley..." (She kept repeating "this" over and over because she wanted me to either a) get something for her or 2) take something from her. I think I just cringed again just thinking about it.)

Moving on... We made it to our Tailgating Spot and had a little less than 2 hours to tailgate. Keeley had a blast playing with everyone and showing them her toys and "Bal-ber" (Albert). We tried to teach her to get beers but she couldn't quite figure out the bottle caps. There's always next year.

At the game she made friends with everyone around her. Luckily, most people were won over by her charms and not too annoyed with a toddler hanging out with them.

All in all, a perfectly wonderful day. Keeley hugged a gator truck with a football helmet. (What was that?)

Danced with the hare krishnas.

Hung out with The Guys.

Cheered for The Gators.

Poked Carlos in the back of the head.

Ate grapes.

Stayed until the end of the game. (That's the final score in the background. And Keeley.)

Everybody join in:

Through all kinds of weather we'll all stick together... For F-L-O-R-I-D-A!

I will make no mention of why I haven't published any posts in...well, forever

2008-07-24T22:08:00.006-04:00

Just some quick updates on Keeley for those interested.

Her new favorite fruit is grapes ("grates"). I quarter them for her so they're not A Choking Hazard. However, I feel that said quartering is negated by the fact that she shoves whole handfuls of the little grape quarters into her mouth at one time. Sigh. She does love her some grapes though.

Also, on the current Favorite Foods List: beans and peas. Beans are referred to as "mean-uhs". The other night she ate chicken AND rice (both are NOT on the Favorite Food List) because I put peas in with it. I guess it was too hard to pick out the peas. Either way she ate it for dinner and lunch the next day. Baked potatoes with sour cream and cheese are also eaten with gusto.

Keeley still enjoys "talking" on the phone. She will now inform us who she is talking to - Mimi, Grammy, Nana, etc. It's amazing how far she's come in the whole vocabulary thing in such a short time. Now she will sometimes string two words together which I guess makes that a sentence? (Side note: I totally suck at this whole milestone thing. Seriously, does two words make a sentence? Do I need to record this in The Book?) She will say things like "Mama wawa" for mommy's water and "Dada work" for Daddy is at work and "Bebe poo poo" for Baby (doll) went poo-poo. That last one is usually after she goes poo and wants to blame it on the doll so she won't have to get her diaper changed. (She HATES diaper changes. They really take a lot of energy and creativity to preform these days.)

She really seems to have "grown up" a lot lately. I don't know if it's that she's gotten taller or she's talking more, or even that she has more hair - but she definitely seems older. But, of course, she is older. Duh.

She does so many new things everyday. We had a neighborhood garage sale last weekend and we were able to get Keeley a playhouse. She loves it. I've put some dishes and "groceries" in there for her. Donald and I also installed wall-to-wall carpeting the other day (an area rug). She goes in there and washes the dishes, cooks meals, and talks on the phone. There's at least one point everyday where she points out to the porch and says, "hoos" meaning she wants to play in the playhouse.

If you can't tell - we're having fun.

Months 13 and 14

2008-05-05T17:40:00.008-04:00

Dear Keeley,

Okay, yes, I didn't publish a post about month 13, but I am just going to combine last month and this month and strive to be better about it in the future. Sorry, Keeley.

So much has happened the past two months. It's like watching someone grow up in fast forward sometimes. You are a little sponge. In the past two weeks you've started talking up a storm. You like to repeat what we say when it's something you like. (Example: yogurt/"go-gur") It's true that many of the words sound the same and sometimes I have no clue what you're saying. But you're communicating. Verbally. It's amazing.

You still get so excited whenever you see the dog or the cat. We'll be playing outside and you'll see Buddy's Frisbee and yell, "Buh-ee! Buee!" I love it. You meow when we see Kitty. Of course, Kitty doesn't appreciate it as much as you or I do, but whatever. Kitty has issues. You'll learn this.

As far as eating goes, you're a bit more challenging. I never know what you're going to eat. Sometimes you LOVE macaroni and cheese, sometimes not so much. Sometimes you won't go near a blueberry, sometimes you'll eat most of the carton. I can't figure it out. Sometimes you hardly eat anything at all. I guess that's normal. I just keep putting food in front of you and secretly cross my fingers. All I know is you love yogurt. There is no doubt. Some days you will ask for it at every meal.

Whenever you don't know something, you put your hands in the air in that universal symbol for "I don't know." It's so cute. You want to do more and more things on your own. Of course, you don't want me out of sight while you do it though. Ever. Especially in the evenings. Especially while I'm trying to cook dinner. I must admit it will be kinda nice when this stage is over. Silver lining though? It's nice that you want to be near me. I love you too, Keeley.

These past two months haven't been the easiest months. There have been some really hard times. But having you here has helped me more than anything else. Your face, your smile, your laugh, and just your all-around Keeleyness have been just what I needed most. Thank you.

Love you,

Mommy

See? Others appreciate my sarcastic remarks.

2008-04-22T14:40:00.003-04:00

I am so excited! One of my comments was featured in the Young and the Restless blog I read. It's such a great blog because not only do they appreciate my witty comments, but the writers also make fun of the show in a loving/supportive way. Just like my best friend and I do.

And, yes, I am aware that watching a soap opera is not the coolest thing I've ever done. And, yes, this is definitely on the list of things that make me "not very adult-like". And, yes, I am excited about being mentioned on a blog that talks about a soap opera.

Whatever. I am so cool. You know you wish you were me!

Oh yeah - I'll get back to some Keeley posts soon. I promise.

Reason #2,538 why I am not an adult

2008-04-14T20:23:00.003-04:00

I just used Sun-In on my hair. Sun-In. A bottle of Sun-In I bought at Big Lots for $3.50. Seriously.

This really sums up my maintenance-style. Quick. Easy. Cheap. (No comments on that one, please.)

But it looks just fine. One of the benefits of having naturally blonde hair - you really can't mess it up too badly with Sun-In. Once, in college, my friend Crystal used Sun-In on her lovely dark brown hair and it turned red-ish. (I use the "ish" there because it really wasn't red but it really wasn't any other recognizable color either. The closest color to it was red. Hence the "ish".) It didn't look that bad, but it wasn't exactly like the picture on the box which was what she was going for. Although it never is, is it?

Sparseness of blog posts

2008-04-01T22:20:00.003-04:00

I won't be able to post too much this week because Keeley and I are at my parents' house for Spring Break. And since I did not bring our laptop and I am right now, at this very moment, silently cursing my mom's laptop, I don't think I will be able to post much because of the sheer slowness of it all. And I have no patience for slowness. I need instant gratification. Instantly. Like right now.

Obviously, this sucks because I have been linked to from other, more cooler sites and now anyone who looks at this blog will be all, "This blog stinks." And I would have to be all, "Yes, I agree." Not that I have ever held any lofty goals for this blog. But, hey, a girl can dream. Right? I mean, I used the word "lofty". That means something.

So, if you're new and like anything you see, try to be a little patient (hey, I'm asking you to be patient, not me) with me and keep checking if you can. Maybe I'll do something entertaining and funny. Who knows.

On a lighter note...

2008-03-29T08:34:00.012-04:00

I've been feeling better lately. The days get easier. I know it won't ever be fully out of my mind and I really don't want it to be. I want to remember. And I want to thank everyone who has called, emailed, and visited with words of support. Your efforts did not go unnoticed and I appreciate you. Your concern made me realize that opening up is not such a bad thing.

Oh? Did I title this post "On a lighter note..."?

So I did. And that's because last night I met BOSSY! You know, of iambossy fame. Click on over there if you've never heard of her. She's hilarious.

P.S. What happened to my hair?
Bossy's looks fabulous - even though she complains about it.

We had a large time and I'm feeling fine this morning. Pre-party last night I made sure I was hydrated, caffeinated, and pre-medicated (Excedrin, people, nothing serious). Just in case. Not quite the girl I once was. We met at Fridays and moved it on over to Avitable's (Side note: Do not click on Avitable if you are easily offended. Of course, most you will now click on Avitable just because I said that.) house where Amy served us some fine wine. It was wonderful to meet other bloggers even if I don't necessarily consider myself a "blogger" yet.

Everyone was friendly and talkative and I even learned how to dye our pool red for possible future Halloween parties. Who knew? We drank and ate and drank some more. Hopefully, we might all get together again. Thanks, BOSSY, for such a snazzy, bloggy-love-fest idea.

It was also nice to be out of the house by myself. On the way home, I drove around for a bit with all the windows down just being Emily for a while. Not mommy or wife or any of the other roles I sometimes play. Roles I sometimes lose myself in, which is fine, but it was nice to find "me" in there somewhere.

Emptiness

2008-03-24T09:21:00.007-04:00

I was pregnant. Now I'm not. I had a miscarriage. And it is one of the worst things I've ever experienced.

When I found out I was pregnant, I was shocked. Not happy, not sad - shocked. It took us almost a year when we were trying with Keeley. And, bang!, right within a month, I was pregnant again. After the shock wore off, I was happy. Donald was ecstatic right from the start. We started telling some people. Even before we went to the doctor. This was VERY unlike me and I figured that if anything happened, I would want these people to know.

We went to the first doctor's visit and everything seemed fine. We set up an ultrasound appointment for 10 days later and I was disappointed that I would have to wait 10 days. Well, I didn't have to wait 10 days because I started spotting two days later. I had an ultrasound the next day and there was no heartbeat but the doctor said that was normal since the baby was only measuring a little over 6 weeks. We kept my initial ultrasound appointment for the next Friday - a week later. What a rough week. Looking back, I know I knew something was wrong. I could feel it. But I would have these hopeful moments where I would scrape up every little bit of weird feelings I was having and attribute them to being pregnant. As the week went on I had fewer and fewer of those hopeful moments. At that next appointment, they confirmed that the pregnancy was over. The baby died at a little over 6 weeks.

I won't go into too much detail about taking the misoprostol. I will let you know it wasn't fun. It was a little painful and very emotional. If by some chance you do want to know more about it, there are stories here that I found helpful.

So far, Monday seems to have been the worst day yet. I felt like it was all over and was nothing else to do. I didn't have anything planned to distract me except for the doctor's appointment where they will tell me that my uterus is clear. Empty.

Usually there's so much going on to distract me. This is one of the worst things I've ever gone through. It's awful. And, like most awful situations, there's no instruction book around, no Miscarriage Handbook, to guide me through the process or even make me feel more normal.

I do know that we're healing and I assume, again like most awful situations, each day will be a little easier. I know I'll still have moments that are difficult (and probably always will), but as sad as those moments are, it's still hard to not see the joy in life when I have this to remind me:

I didn't know if I would ever publish this post when I wrote it. Even now, I'm not sure if I'm actually going to press the "publish post" button. I'm not a very open person about my feelings but, somehow, writing this made me feel a little better. And reading what other people wrote about miscarriage has helped me, too.

Thank you to everyone who has helped out this past week. I might not have said it, but know that I love you.

Oh, the pain! Oh, the pain!

2008-03-10T13:01:00.003-04:00

Well, Keeley has an ear infection in BOTH ears. Of course, it all started with a cold. (A cold that I now have as well, which is not surprising since when Keeley has a cold I spend most of the day as a human tissue.)

On Friday Keeley developed the sniffles. On Saturday she kinda didn't feel good. By Sunday afternoon she wouldn't do anything but lay in our arms and try to sleep. Her temperature went up to 104. Of course, of course it was a Sunday. If her temp went up to even 104.2, I would have called the doctor's office. I have read that if it gets to 105 they have to go to the ER. Luckily, the Tylenol brought it back down a bit.

It is just so sad to see your normally spunky, energetic, full-of-life baby reduced to crying and writhing in your arms because she just can't get comfortable.

Keeley B: Month 12

2008-03-03T20:52:00.015-05:00

Dear Keeley,

Well, yesterday you turned 13 months old. Now I know why your age is still calculated in months: so much happens in a month that a 12 month old is drastically different from an 18 month old even though they are both technically 1 year old. You amaze me every day with something new you can do. Last week you learned how to open the door to your room. (Did I mention how many of these new things you can do also cause me more trouble?) And you practically run everywhere you go. Walking is simply not fast enough for you. You are just so excited about everything. Well, maybe not riding in your car seat. You could do without that.

You keep learning new words, too. You know "hi" and "bye-bye." You can say "mama" and "mommy." You say "dada" and "daddy", sometimes. You can say "mimi", "mammy" (for grammy), and "papa." You say "buh" and "buh-ee" for Buddy. You say "mo" for more and "mo" for milk. (That one gets confusing.) You say "bah" for ball. You know that a kitty says "meow", a doggie says "ruff", a duckie says "quack quack", and a snake says "hiss hiss." (Although the way you say it, the snake has a slight lisp. But it is hands down everyone's favorite sound you do.)

So far, we haven't had any major meltdowns in the aisles of any stores yet. But I can see those times looming in the not-so-distant future. The other day you were standing up in your princess throne even though you know you're not allowed to stand in chairs. I told you to sit down and you looked at me with these impish eyes and said, "Nah." Now I'm not sure if you were actually meaning no, but it sure seemed like it. And, right now? That's really funny to me. It was all I could do to keep from smiling and laughing while I continued to tell you to sit down. You just had the best little twinkle in your eye and you were looking right at me saying, "Nah." I know this will most definitely NOT be cute in the future, so I am enjoying it while I can. I eventually had to just take the throne away for a while, but you weren't too upset. You just went on to playing with something else.

And it's not just me who enjoys you so much. You bring so much joy to so many people's lives. Everyone who knows you is always so excited to see you. I find it hard to balance your time with all the people who want to be with you. And that is a wonderful thing. Your sense of adventure and excitement for life seems to just take over whenever you're around. It's like we forget all those boring, annoying adult problems when we have you around. With you, it's so much easier to focus on how exciting things are and just how lucky we are to be here today.

I love you so much and I want to tell you I'm sorry for all the things I can't be. I'm sorry for the times I don't read you that book you bring to me with that excited look in your eyes. I'm sorry for the times I don't give you the extra few minutes you want to check out an interesting stick or that cool leaf on the ground. I'm sorry for the times I forget to give you a banana cookie after dinner because I'm so concerned with cleaning you up. I'm just sorry that I can be that perfect mother I so long to be. My love for you makes me want to be everything and do everything you need. I know that's not possible, but it doesn't make me want it any less. Just know that I try.

I am so happy you are in my life. Thank you for everything you bring into it. I feel like I feel everything more since I've had you. More happiness, more excitement, more love. More guilt, of course, but you've gotta take the good with the bad. And the good always, always outweighs the bad. Always.

Love you,

Mommy

Yes, I really did use the word "mediate" in reference to babies playing together

2008-02-28T21:01:00.007-05:00

First of all, I want to say that I LOVE playgroup. I love getting Keeley together with other babies close(r) to her age and being able to be there with her. I know she gets some socialization when she stays in childcare at the YMCA, but during playgroup I get to be there and watch her play. I really like the other moms in the group, too. (Which is probably the most important part of a playgroup at this age since the kids don't seem to care.) We all seem to have similar views on things and no one is competitive or judgemental. I love it. I look forward to it.

That being said, playgroup is exhausting. I am just so tired every time I come home. Keeley is usually all over the place. And, since Keeley is the only one walking (all the other babies are younger), most of the moms don't have gates and such up yet. (And I don't blame them. I wouldn't either.) So I just follow Keeley around and close all the doors in the house and try to stop her from tipping over the glass flowers or pressing the buttons on all of the electronics, or eating all of the remote controls, or slamming the baby swing into the wall, or throwing ceramic coasters, or... Well, you know.

Oh, and throwing things? That's a whole other issue. She's started to throw things which, of course, was very cute and exciting until you're around 5 other babies who now seem to be targets. She's obviously not trying to hit anyone, but it happens nonetheless. Keeley's lesson for next week: Do Not Throw Things In The House. I'll keep you posted on how that goes.

Then there's baby group dynamics. As I said earlier, Keeley is the oldest baby there. So, of course, she takes everyone's toys. I usually step in and either give it back myself and give Keeley something else to play with or tell Keeley to give it back to the baby she stole it from. The latter method involves at least 5 minutes of, "Keeley, give the toy back to Taylor. Give the toy to Taylor" [Keeley puts toy next to Taylor and takes toy back.] "Keeley, give to toy to Taylor. Give the toy to Taylor." You get the picture. And I'm still not exactly sure what I'm supposed to do in that situation. Do I just let the kids play and not worry with it? Do I step in and try to mediate? (Did I really just say "mediate" in reference to babies playing? Surely, I'm losing my mind.) Anyway, what am I supposed to do? I feel like my kid is the oldest one there and usually the one taking things, so I am required to deal with the situation. Plus, I'm still not sure what the other moms expect either. Obviously, I want Keeley to grow up with good social skills, but where is the line between letting them play and stepping in too often?

Sigh.

Just today Keeley hit a baby in the back of the head with a maraca, threw a sorting cup that hit someone, smashed a teething toy in a baby's face, and came very close to hitting the youngest one there with something else she threw. I know these are kids and these things are just going to happen, but what's my role in the whole thing? I need some help here - I don't want to get kicked out of playgroup! Like I said, I LOVE playgroup.

(And if any of the playgroup moms happen to be reading this, please know this is NOT a complaint about anything you've done or said. I'm just wondering what I'M supposed to do. I think you're all great!)

Bonus

2008-02-24T22:31:00.002-05:00

Found this link on Dooce and thought it pretty funny:

http://www.makememinimal.com/2008/instrucciones-para-cuidar-un-bebe/

And I just think of all those wasted hours we spent trying to get Donald to nurse Keeley...

Life as we know it

2008-02-24T17:06:00.011-05:00

Yes, it's been awhile since the last post. Sorry. I just haven't felt like sitting in front of the computer that much lately. But I know you are all terribly interested in what's been going on with Keeley, so I will sacrifice just for you.

For the Valentine' Day playgroup we decided to take some photos of the kids and maybe get some cute ones with a heart backdrop. Then we decided to take a photo of all the babes together. As you can see, my child would not sit still. Not for a minute. Oh, what a mess. I tried and tried to get her to sit - just for a second - so I could get a cute picture of all of them and I had no luck. No luck at all. Too busy.

This past weekend, we went to visit Mimi and Peeps and we were ever so busy. We rode on the golf cart, played on the golf course (a big favorite), swam in the indoor pool, ate watermelon, went shopping, and just had a wonderful time. We went down there for Peeps' birthday. I made a baked pasta dish for his birthday dinner and we all liked it very much, including Keeley. I love the fact that I can giver her so many different "real" food now. Sweet potatoes are still a big hit, but now I can just serve them like the rest of the family's.

Speaking of meal time, is it just me or did anyone else get incredibly, insanely, amazingly bored while feeding their children? Holy cannoli, it seems like it takes her FOREVER to finish a meal or snack. I know I should be thankful that she is eating well and enjoys her food - and I am. I just get so bored sitting there while she eats. And I feel guilty if I am texting someone or doing something else. I feel like I should be having conversations with her and other educational stuff like that. Sometimes I'll have her eat a snack with the highchair either in the kitchen so I can prepare another meal or in front of Sesame Street so I can get some other chore done, but I still feel bad and there's still 4 or 5 other meals to deal with. (She eats 5 or 6 times a day, people.) And then, when she's done eating? I have to clean everything up - including my food-covered child! Just thought I'd ask.

Anyhoo, so we had fun in Winter Haven. This week was pretty busy as well. We went to the gym several times and it's not her favorite place anymore. I think she's having trouble adjusting to the amount of kids that are there at the new time we have to go. They changed the child care hours so we can't go at 1:00 anymore because it closes at 1:30. And while a half hour workout sounds lovely, it isn't so lovely for the weight loss. So we have to go earlier in the day and that's when everyone under the sun brings their kids. I think she just doesn't know what to do with herself. There are these big kids running around and she's used to either being the center of attention or the biggest kid there. Hopefully, she get used to it soon. She's really bonded with one of the workers there so I'm hoping that will help.

This week we also had our very first Girls Night dinner. We went out with my friend Dana to a nice(r) restaurant. I had to take Keeley with because Donald was working late that night. I'm never sure how things are going to go with her, but she was really good. And we were there almost 2 hours. (Oops - didn't realize that as we were eating and talking...) I was very proud. I figure she should learn how to conduct herself during Girls Night.

I guess that's about it for now. I'm tired of being in front of the computer and I still have to wait two hours while Blogger takes its time downloading the photos to the blog. Because I know I will hear it if there's a blog post with no photos...

Keeley Brown's First Birthday Extravaganza

2008-02-10T21:13:00.001-05:00

Well, first I would like to say (write) that I consider Keeley's first birthday a success. Keeley was happy pretty much the whole time and I think she enjoyed entertaining her people. Her many, many people. We had about 25 people - with cameras. (And food for 125 - but I will talk more about that later.) Everyone seemed to be happy to watch Keeley flit about and laugh and play. She liked walking around the porch and she loved the balloons.

As I said earlier, there was plenty of food. And everyone ate - a lot. And there was STILL tons of leftovers. You could tell I was worried about not having anough food. Hey, I don't know anything about having parties except make sure you have enough food and make sure you have enough booze. Pretty much if you have enough booze, everything else works itself out eventually. Anyhoo, there was enough food. I had to assume it was good. Why? Because. I. Did. Not. Eat. A. Bite. None. Nothing.

Why, oh why, do you ask? Well, because I was sick, sick, sick. Lots of sick that I will not go into. I couldn't even clean and decorate like I wanted to. Thank goodness my mom and Jill were there to get most of it done. Keeley even helped decorate. And Donald's mom showed up early and she was able to help, too. I had no clue what was wrong with me. For a few terrifying moments, I thought I might be pregnant - but the sickness lasted WAY too long for that. I remember being curled up on the couch saying, "Mommy, what's wrong with me?" I think she was too busy getting stuff done to say more than, "Will you please take a pepto?"

Turns out I had some sort of stomach virus. I learned this as Donald was sick the next day. Conveniently, conveniently sick the day AFTER his daughter's first birthday. So he got to lay in bed all day -- and complain about how HE feld bad. I wasn't very sympathetic. I do remember bringing him a cup of ginger ale at one point. Thoughtful, yes, I know. Amazingly, Keeley never got sick. Thank goodness. I am soooooooooo happy about that. I shudder at the thought.

So back to Keeley. You know, the real reason for the party and all? She had a blast. Well, until I tried to put her down for her second nap. She was all like, "No way, mom. These people NEED me. I am the life of this party. Without me, this party is LAME." So, after about 10 minutes of convincing me, she got to return to the party. (It was lame.) She just wandered around and smiled at everyone and let them know she was back so the fun could begin again.

All in all, a great day for Keeley. Wish I had felt better and could've enjoyed it more. Oh well, it just reminded me how lucky I am to have such wonderful, wonderful family who help out and bring food, and clean kitchens, and watch babies, and are just all-around great.

There were several things I definitely would have done a little better had I not been sick, but none of it was improtant. Keeley's cake turned out a little weird looking and I would have iced it better. But, silly me, I was trying to make this cake and, well, let's face it, Keeley didn't enjoy it that much. Just looking at that cake makes me want to photoshop it. I guess, I can try to make myself feel better by saying I made it myself with love (Gag.) and it was healthy (Double gag.). Either way, I felt bad, so a couple days later I gave her some of Aunt Jeanie's super-fun cake with extra sugar-y icing and she liked it a LOT better. I mean, a kid should get the whole fun first-birthday-cake-icing-and-yummy-sugar-and-other-bad-stuff-for-you experience. Of course, she was fed copious amounts of vanilla ice cream on her birthday by at least one grandparent (Mimi) and perhaps others I don't know about. I do know she enjoyed it so much she couldn't keep her feet still.

So, thank you to everyone for making Keeley's day so special. I promise to work on the thank you notes this week, now that I'm getting back with the program. I know she won't remember it, but I will. The party wasn't just to celebrate Keeley's first year of life (although that was a VERY important part of it), it was also to celebrate our first year as parents. I just love that little girl so much, I couldn't help but go overboard just a little.

Keeley Dawn Brown: The First Year Edition

2008-02-08T21:04:00.001-05:00

Dear Keeley,

This is you the minute you turned one year old. Your daddy and I snuck into your room to be the very first to wish you a happy birthday. (Corny? Yes, it is, but somehow your father and I end up very corny when it comes to you. Sorry.) This has been just the best year. I have so enjoyed watching you grow into this crazy/wonderful little toddler. You have evolved into this independent, sassy little girl who exudes PERSONALITY. Your facial expressions alone are worth their weight in gold.

You are seriously our world. Our house is but a shrine to you. There are literally pictures of you EVERYWHERE. So much so, I'm surprised there's not a picture of you using the bathroom in the bathroom. Give us time. We are just so proud of you. And ourselvs a little, I guess. I mean, who could not be proud of themselves a little when they've got such an amazing little creature such as you? You amaze us everyday with something you do.

One of my favorite times of the day is the process of putting you to bed. I do have to admit that, at first, I dread it just a bit. This is only because lately your father has been giving you a bath and, while it's hard to miss that fun time with you, I must say I look forward to that little bit of time to myself after all-day Keeley-ness. Time to myself for fun things such as showering or cleaning the kitchen - you know real "me" time. Anyway, then it's time to put you to bed and I think, "Oh Lord, I've got to put her to bed." But then I remind myself how much I enjoy it. I get to snuggle with you while you drink your bottle (which, by the way, you will keep this last bottle until you graduate high school, I love it so much. Quite frankly, I might even follow you to college with it just so I can snuggle with you for more than 3 minutes.) And then after your bottle we play a bit on the couch and we both end up laughing and putting our foreheads together. It's like we share this special, private joke. You and me.

Lately, you've taken to carrying items around the house. You love to caryy purses and baskets. You could care less if anything is in them. You just like to carry them. It's so cute to see you wandering around the house with a little purse. It's like you're a little old woman carrying her purse to the store. So much of what you do during the day tells me that you're growing up. BUt watching you sleep reminds me that you're a baby. My baby. I still peek in on you everynight before I go to sleep. Usually you're in there laying on top of your sleepytime toys, passed out to the world. It's so peaceful and it makes me happy to see you.

It's amazing how much I love being home with you. I had a rough start, but now it's so incredibly wonderful. I couldn't imagine going back to work. And miss all of your antics? No way. If only I'd known back then what I know now. Maybe it wouldn't have been so hard. And who could have told me? No one. I'm glad I learned it myself. You're the best lesson I've ever had. I think I might learn more from you than you do from me. I try to be that person I see in your eyes. She's pretty great.

I love you, Keeley Dawn. You make my life better just by being here.

Love you,

Mommy

Quick Update (and yes, there are pictures this time, mom)

2008-01-30T20:36:00.001-05:00

Sorry about the spotty posting lately. I've been gearing up for Keeley's first birthday party. Hopefully, I'll get more posts up later next week after I've recuperated. Anyway, here's a brief update on what's new with Keeley this week (complete with pictures).

We've finally got Keeley in her new car seat and she likes it. She's very excited to be able to see me in the car and out the windows. She laughed all the way to the gym the first time we used it. Well, pretty much all the way. She stopped for a while to stare at the shirtless construction workers on the side of the road. (Looks like trouble, Donald...)

New car seat is a hit. Bring on the shirtless men, mommy!

Also new this week is this:

Keeley learns to pick her nose.

Yes, this week Keeley has realized she can stick her finger up her nose. Joy. Must remember to check my clothes for any "juicy bits" before leaving the house. (This is in addition to checking for those lovely iridescent streaks.)

Furthermore, this week she's had a very weird (and maybe a bit disturbing) attachment to my clean underwear. (I cannot stress the clean enough.) She grabs them from off the couch where the laundry is piled - yes, I WILL GET IT FOLDED. Just today I found this:

I would like to add that I found this RIGHT AFTER IT HAPPENED. No, I wasn't letting my child play in the toilet. One second she was running around with my underwear and the next second they were in the toilet. Holy cannoli.

And keeping with the underwear theme (and let me just say I NEVER thought I would post pictures of my underwear on the Internet, but I guess that goes with the whole "never say never" saying) here is how she was playing later in the day:

Lovely. Needless to say, both pair of underwear are back in the washer and hopefully will be folded and put away prior to someone getting their sticky little hands on them. Sheesh. Isn't it enough that I have to play Beat the Clock just to get any dishes in or out of the diswasher without Keeley getting into it? And why, may I ask, does she always go straight for the KNIVES? Now the clean laundry is fair game as well? Ugh.

And lastly, Keeley got her very first knee scrape today. Aw. We were playing outside and she fell in the driveway and skinned her knee. She cried. I held her. She saw a stick and was over it. I took photos and then we cleaned the wound. With soap. Our baby girl is growing up.

A closer look at The Wound. Look at the detail - what amazing photography.

Already she's trying to run into the street. (And I'm busy taking a picture.)

And it's only Wednesday.

Going off the bottle

2008-01-22T10:40:00.000-05:00

Well, for the past two days - today makes three - we've been weaning Keeley off the bottle. Suffice to say, she does not like this. It surprised me since she never seemed to attached to the bottle anyways. She doesn't carry it around with her throughout the day and we practically have to chase her around with it to get her to finish one. She was just more interested in anything else than she was in drinking her bottle. I thought it would be easier.

I was wrong.

I guess it's not that bad. She's not screaming for her bottle or anything. She just WILL NOT drink formula out of a sippy cup. ANY sippy cup. And, believe me, I have tried many different kinds: ones with soft spouts, hard spouts, angled cups, handles, no handles, straws, no straws, with lids, no lids, regular cups, and even a bottle with a sippy top and handles. All are apparently very offensive. Well, offensive with formula in them. She's had juice in a sippy cup many times and has no problem whatsoever. She actually gets excited to have juice because she doesn't get it very often. But with formula in the cup? No way. Sometimes, she will take a tiny sip from the cup. Most of the time she just purses her lips and blows out. (It's actually kind of funny if you're not directly involved in the situation.)

Everything else seems to be fine, though. She's eating her normal food. I try to make her a little more cereal and put more formula in that. I make sure to give her extra servings of dairy foods she likes. (We're eating a heck of a lot of yogurt, people.) She does seem to be fussier than usual. Although, I'm not sure if that is because of the whole bottle situation, just a normal stage right now, teething, a bit of a cold she seems to have, or some crazy combination of everything I just listed and eleventy billion other possible things it could be. Sigh.

I guess she's okay. I called the doctor's office yesterday to make sure she would be okay with such a drastic decrease in formula consumption. The nurse said she should be okay with the added dairy foods and we could start transitioning her to whole milk (YAY! Bye, bye formula.). Not sure if whole milk is the answer to the sippy cup dilemma, but at least it's not all expensive formula going down the drain. Oh, and we've kept the bedtime bottle, so she's getting about 6 ounces there, too.

I guess I just wish I'd done this a little more gradually. Like take away the daytime bottles first and keep at least the morning and bedtime ones. But I feel like going back and adding the morning one will be a huge step backwards now that we've gone through all this. I don't know. I guess it's just one of those parenting things that I obsess about while I'm going through it and make myself crazy and then look back on it later like, "Oh yeah, I guess that worked out okay." Anyone have any advice?

You might know

2008-01-21T11:04:00.000-05:00

I just found out that the Super Bowl is the same day as Keeley's birthday this year. Of course, that's the same day we planned her party. So much for the person who assured us that the Super Bowl was NOT that day. (Not to mention any names, Mike.) Just as much our fault for listening anyways. I guess it won't make too much of a difference since her party is at 1.

I can't believe that last year we watched the Super Bowl in the hospital with my parents. Keeley slept through most of it. But that makes sense since she was like maybe 2 days old. And now she'll be a year in just a couple weeks. It's so amazing how fast it all went. And it seemed so SLOW those first couple months. I thought we'd NEVER be here. But more of that in the Month 12 letter.

Birthday party plans are coming along nicely - for those of you who where wondering. (Anyone?) I mailed out the invites in plenty of time (for once) and I have most of the decorations. Sweetheart theme. Aaaw. Our sweetheart is turning one. (Insert tear here.) Sniff. I've mostly figured out the cake situation, but I still need to know how much to make and how I'm going to decorate it and what kind of icing I want to use. Okay, so maybe I only have cake pans. Either way, that's more than I had before this weekend. I still have to make the favors and some of the decorations and figure out the food situation. Oh, and totally clean the entire house. Apparently, I am not as far along with this as I thought. Perhaps I should stop sitting in front of the computer and start doing something...

P.S. For those of you who are coming to the party, I just wanted you to know that gifts are optional. You can bring one and we'll love you or you can not bring one and we'll still love you. (Just maybe a little less... Did I just write that? OF COURSE, I AM KIDDING!)

The hilarity of destroying block towers. Wow.

2008-01-18T10:14:00.001-05:00

The polls have now closed

2008-01-12T16:20:00.001-05:00

Thank you to those who took the time to vote or email me with your opinions. I decided to send in the first photo, Big Smile, because it shows off her dimple and crazy hair. Mostly, I'm glad I learned myself how to use the survey feature on blogger. Now I can survey the audience more! Are you excited, or what?

Which one should I use?

2008-01-10T14:46:00.000-05:00

I want to send a photo of Keeley in for Live with Regis and Kelly's Beautiful Baby contest. We all know what a beautiful baby Keeley is. So beautiful, in fact, I am having trouble deciding which photo to send in. Here is where I need your help. Could you look through these 4 photos and vote which one you think has the best shot? Thanks for helping, Keeleyfans!

Big Smile

Santa Smile

Pink Hat

Jaunty Flower Hat

Any given Sunday

2008-01-07T20:43:00.000-05:00

This Sunday we took Keeley to the park/playground by our house. She had a blast. It was very different from the last time I took her. That time we pretty much stayed on the swings. That lasted oh, about 10 minutes and then we were done. Oh yeah, we also looked at some other kids on the way back to the car.

This time? Way different. Of course, we started on the swings. Always a crowd pleaser, those swings. Then we moved to the playground equipment. Fancy. Luckily, this park has a small children's area and a fancier big kids area. Keeley had a blast crawling up the steps and walking on the stuff. She twirled the twirly things and even went down the slide. I have to admit, the slide was not her favorite. Meh.

She waved at all the other kids playing around her. My kid is a polite one. She was so interested in what the other kids were doing. I guess I need to get back into some mommy groups now that she's discovered other kids. We'll save that post for another day, though.

All in all, a great day. Now I'll post some gratuitous cute-baby-on-playground photos. Lucky you.

Keeley Dawn: Month 10

2008-01-03T21:01:00.000-05:00

Today you turned 11 months. This is your last month in your first year. Sniff. Ah, but this was an amazing month. I'm sure I say that every month, but this month really was. You took your first steps this month. And now you can almost walk across whole rooms. You get so excited when you walk. You look to us like, "Look what I can do!" When you get close to whatever it is that you're walking towards, you lunge for it. Luckily, you usually walk to us or the couch.

Your first Christmas was also this month. You were an angel. You opened each present and played with whatever was inside. Even clothes. It was like a fun game for you. Of course, on Christmas morning we had to take the present away after you opened and played with the gift for an appropriate time (30 seconds?) and then thrust another present in front of you. You had that many presents. You had to take a nap to get through them all. And that was just the ones on Christmas morning. I tell you, you are a lucky girl.

You've also begun copying us. If we bang on a pot with a spoon, you want to bang on the pot with a spoon. If I hold Baby, you want to hold Baby. We're lucky you can't talk yet or I'm sure you would've been kicked out of the YMCA daycare for swearing. The best is when you try to copy a facial expression or some sound we make. You can't quite get it right, but whatever you actually do is much better that what you were trying to do. Tonite you were trying to make the "fish face" but you weren't anywhere close. You ended up doing something with your tongue and it was hilarious. Oh, and you love it when we laugh at the funny things you do. It just encourages you more. When we laugh and you don't know why, you just join right in.

This month you visited the grave of your Grandma and Grandpa Lund for the first time. I hope we will make it every year. They would have loved you. Grandpa Lund was a GREAT horsey-ride giver. And Grandma Lund was the BEST to make cookies with. And she would've made you all kinds of outfits - both for you and your dolls. Oh, and if you ever wanted a cherry milkshake, Grandpa Lund was the one to go to. I still haven't found a better milkshake. Even at Andy's Igloo.

I just can't believe how much you're growing and changing. You've been watching my mouth intently the past couple weeks. You're watching how I move it when I say things. I swear, one day you're just going to start telling me a story. You seem to have so much to say. The other day I was showing Mimi photos of you on the tv and one of Buddy came up. You started going, "Buh! Buh! Buh!" You were so excited.

I love seeing things through your eyes. You bring so much more to my life. I wish I woke up as excited as you do. You are just so ready. Life is so new and fun for you. You're ready for it all. I am so proud of you. You are my girl. (You're sleeping now, but I really want to go kiss your head. I won't, but I really want to.)

Love you,

Mommy

Happy New Year everybody!

2008-01-01T21:18:00.001-05:00

From the bottom of my heart

2007-12-26T21:37:00.000-05:00

I know it's been awhile since I've last posted, but I've been quite busy lately. Busy spending countless hours cleaning, baking, cooking, cleaning, entertaining a 10 month old, cleaning, planning, and preparing Keeley for her crazy relatives (not you, of course). And, all that work? Was 100% worth it.

I had what had to be one of the best Christmas' ever. All because of my wonderful family. I couldn't have dreamed of a better first Christmas for Keeley. And that's saying a lot because I am ALWAYS imagining events in my head to be these perfect, wonderful things before they happen and they never quite turn out the way I imagined. But this Christmas was even better than I imagined.

I want to thank everyone who came over at the crack of dawn to be with us. It meant so much for us to have you here to celebrate such an important moment in our lives. It was amazing to have everyone together. The house was filled with family, presents, and happiness.

It was a lot of work to get it all together, but I am so glad we were all able to celebrate together. All because of Keeley. This was the first year we have all celebrated together. I know it was hard on everyone to change their traditions and move thier family schedules around. And I am appreciative and thankful for the efforts everyone put forth to make this happen. I am truly blessed to have such a wonderful, loving family.

Keeley was wonderful all day. We actually were able to put her down for both naps. She opened presents in the morning (actually playing with most of them before we took them away and put another present in front of her to open), took a nap, woke up and opened more presents. Our home is merely storage for Keeley's things now.

I am just so glad we were all able to get together and have a good time. It means a lot to me that our home is comfortable to be in. It was nice that people felt comfortable to nap on our couches, put the casserole that wasn't cooking in the microwave, and just hang out and have a good time. When Keeley grows up I want to be the house that all the kids hang out at. I hope to create an atmosphere that encourages that.

Mostly, I want to thank everyone that came over for Keeley's first Christmas Morning Pajama Party. Luckily, I was busy enough while everyone was here to keep the tears in check, but after most everyone left and it was just me and Keeley for a while, a few slipped out. I am so happy my daughter is loved by so many. Thank you for making this Christmas so memorable and perfect. I love you.

It ain't a credit card ad

2007-12-07T19:18:00.000-05:00

Cute, fuzzy Christmas dress: $40

Snazzy, no-slip hair bow: $3

Stride Rite Shoes (in extra, extra wide): $42

Family package of photos: $27

First time with Santa:

Um, priceless?

Month Nine was soooooo fine

2007-12-06T21:35:00.000-05:00

Dearest Keeley,

This week you turned 10 months old. Ten months. Ten. You have officially been outside my cozy womb for longer than you were inside it. Ten. Double digits. You will never be in single-digit months again. (Sniff, sniff.) You will, however, be in double digits until you are, like, 8 or 9. Right? My math might be a bit off. Anyhoo, this has been a wonderful, wonderful month. Well, except for the part where you fell off our bed. That was bad. But you were okay and the rest of the month was just mah-velous.

We are finally on somewhat of a routine. I can pretty much predict what times things will probably happen during the day. I can tell other people what times to do things when you stay with them. I spent so long worrying whether you should be on a routine or not and here we've happily found ourselves in one without any sort of pressuring or crying or bribery. Of course, just when I think I might have things down, you like to mix it up. Apparently, you think it's much fun to keep me on my toes.

You have been napping well (thank goodness) and playing hard. You love crawling all over the house, seeing what there is to get into. You get excited whenever you find the Baby Bjorn. I think you try to figure out how to put it on. You love getting in it and going for a walk with Buddy. You kick your feet and laugh and laugh. I love it. It will be sad when you’re to big for it. (Which won’t be too long at the rate you’re going.)

There are so many things you love to do. You love playing peekaboo - both hiding yourself and when other people hide. You love it when people chase you around. You crawl as fast as you can then suddenly stop, sit, and look back like, "you there yet?" and then you get right back to crawling. You LOVE it when someone, anyone says, "I'm gonna get you." Love it. You practically start laughing the moment you hear it. You try as hard as you can to get away and laugh, laugh, laugh when you're caught. Oh, and not just a laugh, a squealing type of laugh that's part scream, part laugh. Kind of like a cross between a hyena and a screech owl. A sound truly unique to you.

Meal time has taken on a new degree of difficulty: you want to feed yourself. You’re actually pretty good at it. You know to dip the spoon into the bowl and bring it to your mouth. Of course, you like to stick your fingers in there along with the spoon so that makes it a bit messy. You’re really very excited about the whole event. I love how proud you seem of yourself whenever you do something new.

So far, you’ve met very few foods you don’t like. You eat pretty much any fruit and vegetable put in front of you. Also included in the fave food list are: Cheerios, yogurt, and anything you can pick up yourself. Cottage cheese and lumpy things aren’t your first choice. And you make that known. Loudly. With facial expressions. If you eat something with cottage cheese you make this gagging noise and stick your cottage cheese coated tongue out like, "Get this vile stuff OUT of my mouth."

Speaking of, you are developing quite the temper. If something isn’t to your liking - you let us know. Loudly. With facial expressions. If you are doing something and you don’t want to be picked up you slump over and go limp. I don’t know how you know, but it is almost impossible to pick you up that way. If we walk out of the room for a second you wail and cry. You have this high-pitched wail/scream thing that you’ll do if you’re even the tiniest bit upset about something. Usually you get over it pretty fast though, so that’s good. I have a feeling that there are some rough times ahead.

I still love going to get you when you wake up in the morning or from a nap. You are just so happy. You are practically jumping in your crib. When you see me you crawl from one side to the other as fast as you can. Usually you fall on your face a couple times because your limbs can’t keep up with your excitement. It's one of my favorite times of the day. And I find myself thinking this to myself more and more. "This is one of my favorite parts of the day." It only took me ten months to get used to this, but now? Now, it's wonderful. Whatever the possibly temper-filled future holds, I'll gladly face it with you.

Love you,

Mommy

Do you ever..

2007-12-05T21:56:00.001-05:00

...get on the Internet for a very specific purpose and, 2 hours later, try to remember what you got on the Internet to do BECAUSE YOU STILL HAVEN'T DONE IT?

Well, I do.

Now what was I on here for????

Gimme three steps

2007-12-04T21:32:00.001-05:00

No, make that five steps. Five steps that Keeley took last night on her own. Apparently, the bottle is a strong motivator since that's what she was heading for.

Steppin' out

2007-12-01T10:22:00.000-05:00

Well, Keeley has taken her first wobbly, unsteady, trembly steps this week. She was playing with me and she saw her big, fluffy dog and must have been inspired to attack it because she just took off toward it. She must have taken at least three steps before she fell on top off it, rolled off it, bonked her head on the floor, and started crying. Needless to say, it was time for a nap. But those steps were amazing.

After Donald got home we sat across from each other and Keeley would "walk" between the two of us; first lunging for one of us and then the other. Each and every time she would laugh. She loved it.

I know it's all the rage these days to be all, "We're not encouraging [insert baby name here] to walk yet" but, um, WHATEVER. How can you not be excited about such an important milestone? I know it'll be more work and blah, blah, blah, but I'm excited, dammit! What part of a baby's life isn't more work? It just goes with the territory. It's a baby, not a cat. Sheesh, when we leave for the weekend I just throw a bunch of cat food outside and make sure the cat's not in the house. The baby? Not so much. So, anyway, we're excited about the walking and, yes, yes we do encourage her to walk. She is our child. We are so proud of her and we will continue to encourage her to grow. Even if we're totally uncool.

It's in her blood

2007-11-25T20:54:00.000-05:00

We took Keeley to Gainesville for the first time this weekend. What a perfect weekend for us to make the trip. Gorgeous weather and a big win. What could be better? She was a true tailgater (I would write tail-gator there, but that would be way too cheesey).

We hung out with my parents before the game at their tailgate spot and then Donald and I went to the game. Keeley stayed with my mom - Mimi. Apparently, Keeley really wanted to go to the game with us because she wasn't in a good mood after everyone left. Of course, after we got back to the game someone woke up and was ready to celebrate. So, being the responsible parents we are, we got her up and let her hang out with us - at 10pm. She was all snuggled up with Donald under a blanket and was happy to sit there for a while.

The next day we took her on her first visit to Ben Hill Griffin Stadium at Florida Field and showed her all the important sights. Donald was full of, "This is where your Uncle Jeremy..." and "This is where we used to sit and they weren't good seats, but your Uncle Trey thought they were the best seats in the world" and "This is where Unlce Hani..." (Insert any number of college gameday stories in the ...)

It was so much fun telling her all the great college stories. Especially since we couldn't possibly bore her AND we didn't even have to edit out the inapproprite parts!

We walked all over and around the stadium. Many a photo-op was taken advantage of. All in all, we had a great day and Keeley got her first dose of Gainesville Greatness.

The first Thanksgiving

2007-11-22T21:12:00.001-05:00

Well, we survived our first Thanksgiving as official hosts. And it was good. I really enjoyed myself. I was worried that I would be frantically cleaning and cooking up and rushing all over the place and just totally not taking any time to enjoy the day. But I didn't. I did as much as possible before hand and everyone that came brought food. Grammy Lu and Papa practically brought a Thanksgiving dinner themselves. Of course, I was up until 2am the night before cleaning, but it was worth it. We had 10 people, which was nice because it wasn't too many to prepare for and we could handle seating that number. Plus, everyone that came had already seen our house a mess, so if I didn't get it all cleaned up it wasn't too big a deal. It was a perfect first Thanksgiving.

I used our fancy stuff and set the table and everything. Of course, like everything that is me, the fancy crystal and china was set on a table with 2 resin chairs. That's just how I roll. Likewise, I was dressed in black pants, a nice brown top and slippers. (My feet HURT, people.)

I think Keeley enjoyed herself as well. Of course, she had quite the audience, which she loves. She also had her own little Thanksgiving dinner. She had turkey, sweet potatoes, cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes, and ham. She ate it all. Food and people - the perfect day.

As I was busy cooking and cleaning the day before the big event while Keeley was visiting Grammy, I couldn't help but wonder what mothers did in the past. I know that women were expected to do so much more house-wise in those days. What with the cooking and cleaning and such. What did they do with the babies? Sheesh, my grandmother and Donald's grandmother both had 5 kids. It's hard for me to be in the kitchen more than minutes some days before Keeley decided she does NOT want to be in the kitchen ANY LONGER thankyouverymuch, mom. What did they do in The Olden Days when the babies were all over the place and wanting to be picked up and just fussy all over? Nowadays, we just pick up the babies and to hell with the cooking and cleaning and whatnot. Well, at least that's what I do. But no one is on my case about dinner being on the table and the house being perfectly picked up and the ironing done. Ha - that would be funny. I mean this is how Donald irons his clothes. Seriously.

Anyhoo, I truly enjoyed myself today and I'm glad we hosted Thanksgiving. I can't wait until next year. Of course, I need a serious break now. We're all cleaned up and I'm exhausted.

I think I will have a glass of wine in my fancy glass and look at the sale papers for tomorrow.

And the Bad Parent of the Year Award goes to...

2007-11-15T22:14:00.000-05:00

Me.

I debated over posting this because, well, it's just more evidence of how bad of a parent I am. But I just decided to be completely honest:

Keeley fell off the bed this morning. Off the end of the bed. Head first. That's a little over three feet. Three feet. And I was right there. I watched it happen.

Thank goodness she is okay.

We were snuggling in the bed with her morning bottle and, after she finishes, she crawls on Donald and I and looks for Buddy and plays in the bed a bit. Well, this morning Donald went to work early and Buddy was outside so it was just Keeley and I in the bed. Things were going as normal and we were playing in the bed. She crawled down towards the end of the bed and was playing with the comforter which was thrown over the end of the bed. She started crawling up on the footboard and I started to go down there to make sure she didn't fall off the bed. Before I got there she started jumping like she does and she jumped right over the end of the bed. I saw her go right over. And there was nothing I could do.

I'll admit I wasn't moving as fast as I should have. I really didn't think she would go over the end. Of course, I knew it was a possibility, but I just didn't think it would happen. And it did. And I should have been there. It's my JOB. The whole point of my job is to keep her safe. I feel absolutely awful. I mean, I know things happen and in a few weeks all will be back to normal and I might not think about it so much, but right now it's still fresh. I can still see her go over the end of the bed and hear her cry. It breaks my heart.

Thank you to those of you today who said nice things to me and shared stories of how your children fell off the bed or rolled out of your arms as you tripped and how those kids are just fine today. It really helped me feel a little better. Really. I am hoping this will just be another story I will share with Keeley when she has a new baby.

All in all, she's okay. I've called the doctor and I know what to look for and, so far, I haven't seen any of the warning signs that something might be wrong. She has a knot on her head and she was a little fussy after it happened. But I would be worried if she wasn't fussy after that happened. I am going to check on her every 2 hours tonight to watch her breathing and just to make sure all is okay. Speaking of, it's about that time and I wouldn't want to win Bad Parent of the Year twice in a row.

It's Not Just Bananas Anymore

2007-11-14T21:12:00.000-05:00

Keeley now claps for green beans, oatmeal, and applesauce. Vegetable Beef gets a few claps now and then, too, but it's no bananas.

Busy

2007-11-13T23:23:00.000-05:00

I am exhausted. You know, I think of my day and I know other people think, "Man, what does she do all day? Just at home with a baby? That must be great." Hell, I think it, too. What DO I do all day? Somehow at the end of the day I'm exhausted and I feel like I've been playing Beat the Clock all day, just rushing around getting this done and that done. But then I think, "Wasn't I laying around while the baby took a nap? I so should have been folding those clothes." And at the end of the day when there's still piles of folded laundry on the couch, dirty dishes in the sink, and a kitchen floor that HAS to be mopped I think, "Wow. I should have done this earlier in the day." But when? It's only when I think of the things I actually DID that I realize I've accomplished something during the day. I DID make three meals for Keeley, a meal for dinner, and feed the animals. I DID think ahead (for once) and brown the hamburger for tomorrow night. I DID clean up after each of those meals. I DID fold the laundry (that is still on the couch). I DID make sure we were home for Keeley to take her naps and eat her meals. I DID unload the dishwasher. I DID make it to the gym to work out. I DID go to the grocery store. I DID clean out the track of the sliding glass doors. I DID take a shower. I even made time to go over to a friend's house for Girl's Night. And, most importantly, I have loved, played, and cared for my baby girl. I'm exhausted just thinking about it. I love my job.

Snapshots (Well, Video) Of Our Day

2007-11-12T13:57:00.000-05:00

First of all, I'd like to note that I DO know that Keeley does not match in these videos, but we had quite the doo-doo disaster earlier in the day, which involved the disposal of yet another onesie. (Lucky for you, no video of THAT experience.) AND I know that she has on a Halloween onesie and yes, it is November. But I would like it noted that no, I do not dress her in white shoes after Labor Day. Sheesh, I wasn't raised in a barn or anything.

We got this toy from friends of ours with older kids who didn't need it anymore. After the complete wash, bleach, rinse cycle, it was ready for Keeley. This is the first morning she used it and I'd say she's figured out the main idea.

I think we might have a future One-Hit Wonder on our hands. Perhaps she, too, will destroy an MTV set thereby frightening Janeane Garofalo, et al -- but I hope not.

Apparently, the best lunch ever. She would clap her hands after every bite of banana. I guess it is worthy of applause after Vegetable Turkey.

Not surprisingly, the battery in the camera died. But that was our day until lunch.

Month Eight? Where did it go?

2007-11-08T22:51:00.000-05:00

Dear Keeley,

This month has held many ups and downs. Both you and I are fitting into our roles as baby and mama quite nicely now. Of course, you got your first cold this month. Wow. It made me appreciate the happy, content baby you usually are. You wanted to be held, but then you didn’t want to be held. You wanted to eat, but not THAT CEREAL. Or those sweet potatoes that were entirely too chunky for your sensitive palate. Honestly though, I felt so bad for you. I could tell you didn’t feel well. You could hardly breathe at times – no wonder it was hard to sleep. We finally wised up to use the humidifier in your room. You were like, “DUH, PARENTS.” I even took you to the doctor – though I was pretty sure it was just a cold. But, as a first time mom, I’m allowed to be extra cautious, right? You were fine. And, since people were using them to put their babies to sleep instead of for the correct reason, infant cold medicines were pulled from the shelves. Perfect timing. There was so little I could do for you to help you feel better. I did hold you as much as you wanted to be held. Although, you are usually much too busy to be held for too long.

Also this month, you got three more teeth. At one time. Yes, three. Yes, at one time. Once again, a reason for some fussiness. You now have eight teeth. Eight. I’m pretty sure that’s a lot for your age. Your father and I like to say you’re advanced, dentally. You like to use your teeth to chew on everything. The sides of your crib are all chewed up. That’s because you wake up and entertain yourself in your crib before you call out or start babbling and mama doesn’t know you’re awake yet. Love it. You just wake up and play and entertain yourself. Even when you do start making noises, it’s just to babble and talk to yourself. You just play and play, happy as a little clam. Then, when someone comes to get you? You’re even happier. You are just the best.

You have really mastered the art of using your thumb and index finger to pick up bits of food – and other things you find. (The Official Baby Instruction Books call that “the pincer grasp”.) One of your favorite things to do is feed yourself. Cheerios, pieces of banana, beans, macaroni, lint – all good things to you. You are still such a wonderful eater. You eat almost everything. I’ve been giving you chunkier foods and you aren’t too thrilled about it, but you eat it. I discovered how to make chicken and rice and since your father and I like it, I’ve thrown some in the food processor and gave some to you. You even spent a lunch time picking it up with your fingers, feeding it to yourself. Obviously, a family favorite.

You are such an interesting being. I love to watch you play. You get so interested in so many different things. Whenever I make the penguin toy sing “Ice Ice Baby” you start to bounce and clap your hands. How cute is that? I also think you’ve been saying “dada”. Not positive on that one, but you do say it and look right at him. So I’m inclined to think you know what you’re saying, but then you don’t do it all the time so who knows? I also think you say “mama”, but it’s when I’ve left you by yourself (just for a second – sheesh, mama needs to go to the potty!) and you stand at the safety gate and cry, “mama, mama.” At least that’s what it sounds like to me. AND I think (yes, I think) you say “ki” for kitty. Whenever you look for kitty, you go “ki, ki, ki” and I truly think you’re trying to say “kitty”.

Oh my, we’ve done so much – and I haven’t even talked about how you’ve started to give kisses. Big, open-mouth, wet, droobly kisses. And that’s one of my favorite things you do. Of course, you have to be in the right mood – but that goes without saying. Anyone who knows you knows that you do NOT do anything you’re not in the mood for. Seriously. Wherever do you get that from?

Love you, Mommy

Goodbye Month Seven

2007-10-04T21:06:00.000-04:00

Dear Keeley,

You have been so busy this month, I need a nap. You learned how to sit up from any position. You were so excited to do this, you practiced in your sleep… Well, I use the term “sleep” loosely. There were a few long nights.

You also learned to crawl! It was absolutely amazing to watch you go from rolling around everywhere to leaning forward to rocking back and forth on your hands and knees to, finally, crawling. Your dad and I were so excited. You picked it up in a matter of days. One day you were slowly crawling a couple feet and the next day you were shooting across the room towards the light socket. (Maybe I should get those protector things in there sometime soon…) Buddy and Gourdy are in serious trouble. The past few mornings you’ve raced across the floor to see Gourdy through the sliding glass door. You get so excited. You have this cute way of breathing when you get excited about something. It’s almost as if you’re panting like a dog. I love it. And, boy, if you want something, you are going to get it, dammit. Determination is your motto. You already know how to climb up the step at your Grammy’s house and the taller one at your Nana’s house. No problem, you say.

You are so interested in everything. You get up in the morning ready to go. You usually play in your crib for at least half an hour before I go get you. (This is great for me; keep it up. Mommy doesn’t wake up so quickly…) When you’re playing in the living room, you like to take all of your toys out of the basket. You look at each one and then put it down and move on to the next. One of your favorite things to do is jump in your Jumperoo. You are a MANIAC in that thing. Daddy had to fix it so you wouldn’t hurt your knees. You jump and jump and jump and jump and…well, you get the picture.

Another favorite of yours is playing peek-a-boo. Mimi started playing this with you months ago and now you just can’t get enough. We put a washcloth over our face and say, “Where’s Keeley?” You rip the thing off your face and we say, “There she is!” You laugh and smile and squeal.

One thing you do not like AT ALL is when I leave the room EVEN FOR A MINUTE. I remember not too long ago, you would play happily by yourself on the floor. I would leave you there and go to the bathroom or throw the laundry in or fix a sandwich and I would go back and there you were IN THE EXACT SAME PLACE. Now, even if I could leave, you would immediately head for the aforementioned light sockets or something else I have yet to childproof.

You are still eating like a champ. Or should I say eating like a Brown. You enjoy everything we give you. You love, love, LOVE Cheerios. You’ve just figured out how to grab them and get them to your mouth. Well, you sometimes get them to your mouth. But that doesn’t stop you from excitedly grabbing them each and every time and shoving them towards your mouth.

I still love going to get you from a nap. Now you’re usually standing up, holding on to the side and smiling away. It’s the sweetest thing ever. You are so happy. And that makes me happy. I think my favorite thing in the world is hearing you laugh. I wish I could bottle it. Just today we were playing and you were smiling so big, I could see your two top teeth and I think it was the cutest thing in the whole world. I am so amazed by you. You are the love of my life and I can’t wait to see what Month Eight has to offer.

Love,
Mommy

To Sleep, Per Chance to... Wait. Who's Sleeping?!?

2007-03-23T14:21:00.000-04:00

Yesterday there was no sleeping. Keeley woke up at 8:30 and was up until 4:45 when I finally coerced her to take a nap. I had to promise her that she could stay up as late as she wanted, but... HA!

I never realized how important her naps are -- for me! Luckily, we went over to Donald's Nana's (too many possessives?) house and she was able to entertain Keeley for a while. I didn't have to make ALL of the googly faces. I bought her a mirror (Keeley, not Donald's Nana) so she could make googly faces at herself. You know, cut out the middle man here. We'll see how that goes. Sounds like a good idea, right?

Luckily right now she is sleeping. She also took a nap this morning. (I told her it was either take a nap or fold the laundry.)

Smart girl. I have taught her well. Of course I chose sleep as well. Where's the laundry going to go anyway? Maybe I will see how high I can stack the laundry before it tumbles onto the floor and has to be washed again (because of all the pet hair on the floor - more cleaning to do). New game -- Laundry Jenga.

So with the naps today I am feeling like less of a parental failure. I'm not sure why I have to worry about every little thing so much. I wish I could be one of those laid-back parents who just know their kids will turn out fine. Any advice on how to get there? I'm sure a good start would be a few glasses of wine...

Really?

2007-03-20T11:30:00.000-04:00

So I thought I'd start a blog. I'm wondering if this will be a good way to entertain myself during these days at home or just a huge waste of time. You know, because I would like as many things to distract me from housework as possible. I am not cut out for that crap! I'm already doing at least one load of laundry a day. A DAY. That is a dramatic increase of my previous average -- one load whenever I run out of underwear. (I have a pretty good amount of underwear.)

This baby goes through so much laundry. And her stuff is tiny. What gives? Mostly it's the washcloths we have to use to wipe her booty. Because she has a sensitive booty. No wipes for that tushy! I've already bought extra washcloths at Target just so I won't have to wash the washcloths once a day. I can make it every other day. Then, of course, there are the lap pads she manages to pee or poop on at least 5 times a day. Anyway, I'm sure you get the point.

Right now my major dilemma is what on earth do I do to entertain a 6 week old? I mean I can only make googly faces for, oh about 15-20 minutes, and then what? I can't believe I was worried before when she slept so much and wasn't up! Ah, those were the good old days... Now she's up after feedings and looking at me like, "now what?" Of course, I'm looking at her like, "now what?" So you can see there's a problem. Any ideas? She hangs out in her swing sometimes and then there's the googly faces - but we know how long that lasts... She doesn't really enjoy sitting in the bouncy seat watching me do things. (Really? You're not enjoying watching me make a sandwich, baby? I can't understand why.)

I would appreciate any suggestions you may have.

We've already played Baby Photo Shoot. (She's a natural, don't you think?)

You know... whatever

And she knows how to Chomp. Just ask her. (Are there any kids of Gator fans that aren't required to learn this?)

I will make no mention of why I haven't published any posts in...well, forever

Months 13 and 14

See? Others appreciate my sarcastic remarks.

Reason #2,538 why I am not an adult

Sparseness of blog posts

On a lighter note...

Emptiness

Oh, the pain! Oh, the pain!

Keeley B: Month 12

Yes, I really did use the word "mediate" in reference to babies playing together

Bonus

Life as we know it

Keeley Brown's First Birthday Extravaganza

Keeley Dawn Brown: The First Year Edition

Quick Update (and yes, there are pictures this time, mom)

More of a stream of consciousness-type post than anything of importance. Or interesting for that matter.

Going off the bottle

You might know

The hilarity of destroying block towers. Wow.

The polls have now closed

Which one should I use?

Any given Sunday

Keeley Dawn: Month 10

Happy New Year everybody!

From the bottom of my heart

It ain't a credit card ad

Month Nine was soooooo fine

Do you ever..

Gimme three steps

Steppin' out

It's in her blood

The first Thanksgiving

And the Bad Parent of the Year Award goes to...

It's Not Just Bananas Anymore

Busy

Snapshots (Well, Video) Of Our Day

Month Eight? Where did it go?

Goodbye Month Seven

To Sleep, Per Chance to... Wait. Who's Sleeping?!?

Really?